All you need is love. Don’t you hate it when people say that? What does it even mean? The over-used rebuttal is not much better though. People need a roof over their head, they need money to pay their bills, justice in the courts, their basic human rights respected, basic health and education…something along those lines.
I’m ready to do a hard eye-roll on both arguments. We have to look much deeper. Much, much deeper. What is love anyway? Is it a fluffy feeling? What if you don’t feel anything at all?
Here is my take. Love it the ability to see someone as they really are. This is extremely difficult to do because each one of us sees others, and all reality, in fact, through the lens of our own conditioning. Whatever a given person does or says will cause a psychological and emotional response within us that puts that person in box of our understanding. And, as normal humans, we believe that our understanding of reality really is what all reality is. How many people do you know can pull themselves back and say, Wait, my understanding of reality may just be a temporary mirage? If everyone did that, we would probably never have a war again. But we cannot do that unless we are committed and dedicated to overcoming our own perceptions. Now how many people do that?
So the problem is we collectively put people into cages and then judge them good, bad, needing help (the exact kind of help we would need in that situation), suffering (again, the way we would suffer in that situation), lazy, not willing to do what it takes, etc. All of these boxes of understanding in which we put the individual gives us a path to follow on how to respond to that person. Now here’s where it gets tricky, the way we respond is usually so far off mark that we end up causing much more harm than good.
That’s why all the monumental efforts to end world poverty, human rights abuses, corruption in government, and all the social issues in our own countries seem to never amount to anything. We need much deeper insight into the human soul and an ability to look critically at ourselves and our own way of seeing things if we are going to be effective at all. In other words, we all need to get over ourselves and our point of view.
Let me go back to seeing people as they really are. All humans are intelligent, capable, loving, and have an innate need to improve their living situation. They also want to see the people in their communities be happy, healthy and prosperous. We are wired to grow, to advance, to keep learning and doing better. What happens is that because the world is so messed up, everyone grows up with some form of trauma, and this trauma blocks all those good abilities, including our ability to flow love. All these traumas and abilities live on an infinite spectrum. The spectrum is not only horizontal, it is also vertical and probable reaches out in other dimensions that we are not aware of. This means, there are so many billions of elements to take into consideration as to why a person does what they do, why they feel and respond how they do, etc. that the fact that we think “we know what they are going through” is very ignorant. So our ready-made explanation for everything we see is the problem. It is what causes us to be so far off point.
Still it gets worse. What messes us up is the crashing of those billions of elements that is the essential make-up of each of our worlds or paradigms. We go to war (literally and metaphorically) because of our evolving elements and how the clash with others’ evolving elements. This can be resolved, however. When you’re able to pull yourself back and let go of your firm hold on your idea of reality, you will have the ability to respond to the person in a state of non-judgement (judgement just means that you think you understand what is going on). When you do this, you not only avoid a war, but in many situatioins give them the water their soul needs to drink. You build them up without knowing how or even why. You become a kind person in their lives, which we all know is medicine for the soul. This is the love that everyone needs. When they get this, a lot of other pieces tend to fall together.
A visibly broken person who receives this kind of love will start believing in themselves again, which in turn gets them physically moving in the right direction and they end up pulling themselves out of whatever hole they’re in. A visibly strong person will be able to take their lives to the next level; and the stronger person who would fight you might lay down their arms. The person who gives this kind of love, though, is a sage. And it doesn’t matter what religion or non-religion they belong to. Before you get discouraged, please know that each of us has an element of sage built in (this is another multi-dimensional spectrum), and we can use our sage selves in any situation at any given moment. All you have to do is learn to pause and ask yourself, how can I see this (situation or person) differently? What is the truth that I am not grasping? Then let it go and get back to what you were doing. Your mind will work on it in the background, somewhat like working on a math problem while you are asleep. If you keep at it, one day you will suddenly have an insight that will lead you in the right direction. You will know how to respond to the difficult person across the hall or the isle; you will know how to help the kid at your school and what to say to the parents. You will just know what to do and it will be right.
In the end, responding to people in the way they need you to respond is what love is. Learning how to do this is the work we all have to do.