high adventure

I want my life to be an adventure.  Every last bit of it.  I want to scheme about things, dream about things, go places I’ve never been, meet people’s stories.  I want to do something that matters to random people’s lives. Those in faraway places whom I will never meet.  I’m not interested in sitting pretty, sipping a fancy drink in a beautiful place where great conversations are not nurtured.  Where people are not inspired to change the world, where they are not inspiring with their lives, where they sit pretty just to sit pretty. I’m not interested in flying across the world to see a pyramid, just to say I saw it, while never caring about the people surrounding it; I have no interest in reading all the books that a smart person should read so I’m not ashamed in pretentious company.  I lost my ability to give a damn. I’m not interested in keeping up on the news and watching how many people die of Ebola, nor what is happening on the Gaza Strip or border towns in Mexico (what you focus on, you help create!).  The wars still go on.  I march. The wars still go on.  Everyone marches. The wars still go on. Let’s think of something new, something that doesn’t depend on the good graces of those in power.  Something that is power in and of itself.

I want to live a high adventure.  I want my life to make a difference.  I want to do it in high heels, and learning new languages. I want to embrace people in my arms.  Far and close. Let’s not give a damn together.  Life is short. Very short for some. They die of third world diseases.  Over here people die of first world diseases, and never enjoy their time while they’re alive.  They carry the burden of needing to compete, impress, win.  They fight to be at the top.  But when they’re there, nobody cares.  I don’t want to do that. I just want my work to matter.  I want people’s lives to be happier because of it.  I want my life to be happier because of it–a happiness that can’t be given or taken away, bought or sold, or punched in the face.  Happiness that happens out of nowhere, independent of good opinions, unaware of bad ones. Happiness that doesn’t wait to be loved, discovered or known.  It doesn’t hope for flowers to be delivered, or expect to win a prize. It works in the grocery store, cafe, museum or lab and behind every counter, every desk, every face.  This is the world I want to create.

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