a great goal (a draft from Jan 2012)

I wrote this draft below and I think I had forgotten to press “Publish”.

Jan 4, 2012.  My 3rd entry in this blog

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

I’m in Austin visiting my family for winter break.  Even thought I’m not in school, I work in a cafe at a university, which means we have to have winter break when the university is closed.  I’m taking one month to be away.  Two weeks left to go and my oldest full sister showed up from LA last night.  She must have Tex-Mex so we (more sisters & nephews + 1 friend) go to Chuys to eat. My sister Sasha and I order margaritas, on the rocks, no salt.  Before I’m done drinking mine she has already ordered her second one, this time it’s frozen with salt.  I finish my drink and we’re so deep in conversation that I forget to stop the waiter and ask for another one, so I just reach over the table and take my sister’s half full margarita.  She orders another one.

Back home from the restaurant, I can’t stop thinking about this lifestyle that I want to write about.  How do you put it in words? How do I accurately describe the adventures I’ve been on while trekking down my own “long road to freedom”? –I love that line! It’s the title to Nelson Mandela’s autobiography, (one of my favorite books ever) and I think I use it way too often.

I think about the art I’ve painted and the story behind it all.  But not only that, the moments in between painting count for so much! They are what painting is built on, those hidden secrets of the soul that feels so impossible to express.  So I’m dreaming of this challenge like a hungry dog dreams of steak.  My mouth waters with it in front of me.

I ask myself, how will I accomplish this great goal, the one of describing the indescribable? My wiser self answers, “Stay in the present moment”.  I understand.

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