The storm blew through my house and left it’s giant mess. Now that it’s cleaned up, (mostly), I am sitting back to rest. Taking the day off from work because I’m down with a cold/fever. Everything feels so, so calm! While I’m resting, I’m listening the the CD’s my sister sent me over a year ago–The Amazing Development of Men, by Alison Armstrong. Lots of people talk about women and understanding women, women’s rights, women’s emotions, hormones, PMS, etc. but who talks about men and understanding them? This is not just about men you’re in a romantic relationship with, but all men in your life–brothers, nephews, co-workers, male friends, etc. This is so interesting to me because it’s good for someone to articulate what kind of creature makes the other half of the world, and why they behave as they do. Why in the hell are they always falling off the cliff and going silent!! I’m done with this! Oh wait, men will always be men. If you accept it you will be more peaceful for it, if not, you will fight your whole life. Your choice.
What they’re doing is fighting a battle, hopefully for the betterment of humanity or at least their own world, and it takes all of their concentration. When I’m concentrating intensely, it’s lasts a few hours, then I need to get in touch with someone to make sure the world is still turning the same. If I can’t get in touch with those who are in my immediate circle, then I feel like my life might go out of orbit! What I’m understanding is that guys don’t work this way. They expect the world to be the same when they come back. Why wouldn’t it be? I mean, nothing major has happened. Whao! Whoa! Whoa! But something major did happen! There was like this enormous gap in which you basically fell off a cliff. That’s major. ….so this is where everyone’s miscommunication happens…and I am as guilty as anybody else.
Women will always be women, too. There is absolutely nothing we can do about the way we were designed. The sad thing is is that pop culture has taught us to judge ourselves for how we are innately. Women are born to need attention, to be beautiful, to be the center of the universe. All women are princesses growing up to be queens. Our psyches are pointed in that direction, unless something in our developing years kills that part of us, then we hang out in the underworld of lost souls until we awaken–if ever. Sad to see how many girls souls have been killed in their developing years by their own parents who were trying to protect them! I was one of them. But, my inner princess is very resilient and kept emerging her head. She will not die for nothing! I thought I was something special, but then, with a little research and opening of my eyes, I realize that all women are designed that way. It makes us so lovely! Who would want it to be different? If it were different, our world would be so boring, lifeless and dull.
The feminist movement tried to stop women from being princesses. They tried to turn us into men. Isn’t that anti-feminism? Isn’t that saying, “in order to have equal value as a man I must be big and strong like him, because that which is feminine and beautiful has no value”. OK, this type of feminism does NOT work for me or anyone else (in the long run). Before you start arguing with me, I know real feminism isn’t about being the same, but about being equal:-). I wish the whole world were that way! We don’t have to be the same, but we are equally great and amazing and beautiful and deserve to be treated as such.
I digress… I was talking about the Amazing Development of Men. This woman who has been studying men for 20ish years, says that opinions to men are like feelings to women. Men aren’t feelings type of people, but they have their opinions and will fight to defend them. Why? Because it’s connected to who they are, what information they have collected and validated, what experience that have undergone, etc. They know what they know and it took a lot of sweat to get there. Don’t disrespect that!
For women, on the other hand, our opinions are fleeting. Today I think this, tomorrow I’ll think that (except on core values, of course). But how she feels about something is what lasts. Do not brush aside what I feel as small and irrelevant! Oh, that would be bad news! As a woman, I feel my way through life. Our DNA is designed to make us safe in all circumstances, and if you’re not respecting our feelings, then you’re not respecting our need for safety, which means you’re willing to put us in danger, which means you are bad news. End of story. Yikes!
Articulating how cave-man & cave-woman act in the modern world is very tricky! I love it when people can do it and I can listen and feel a sense of relief, because that just means I’m normal. ha ha.
But we’re not cave men and women anymore. We are enlightened beings. We can overcome our primal fears and be great in the world. Don’t we all aspire to that? I know I do. So, if I’m going to overcome my primal fears, then I must know which ones they are, so I don’t feel crazy every time they emerge. I don’t need to feel like there is something wrong with me anymore. It’s very natural to be a women who needs to feel safe in the company of her friends, or in the company of a male. Especially in the company of a male. I think a lot of women who esteem themselves as intelligent and advanced won’t admit to this, doesn’t make it less true for them. I think the sooner we come to terms with who we are as women in the world, the sooner so many other things will fall into place.
The universe does, in fact, revolve around us and it’s time for us to step up and reign–without holding back, without asking for permission, without apologizing. Think of it. There will be much more peace in the world, because the queen is, ultimately, merciful.