Those of you who have been following my story for some time know that I grew up in a scary cult. We thought the world was going to come to an end very soon. As a matter of fact, Armageddon was going to happen in 2012–and we’d better be prepared!
2012 finally showed up at our doorsteps. Some people were just chillin’, while others had stockpiles of food, water, and yes, some weapons for protection against the starving mobs. I was just pissed off at it all. This is what I wrote:
Dear 2012, Jan 1st, 2012
I know you have threatened us with everything from total destruction to total enlightenment. Here’s what I say- you can kiss my ass. First of all, I am in charge of my own enlightenment and I will do it in my own timing. You don’t rule me. Second, if you try to hurt my family (everyone on planet earth) I will personally kick your ass! Don’t fuck with us. I don’t care who or what it is—alien invasion, the global elite or global warming—if you push, I will push back harder and I don’t care if I am the last one standing, you will not win.