Today I woke up with the realization that I deserve to be happy. I didn’t know it’s something that you automatically deserve just by being human. I thought it was something that you have to fight for to make happen. Or, you have to be good enough for. You have to have paid some sort of price for it. You don’t just automatically deserve it.
Wait, yes you do!
In taking happiness for yourself, the guilt has gotta go! Now would be the best time to drop it. Yes, all those things that tug me to do this or that, and all the people who endlessly need my help, and all the organizations I should be a part of, and the people who I feel can’t fight for themselves and need a great defender. Dropping this is dropping the idea of my own super-human-ness and letting the great defender be God, (and you know I’m a full blown heathen, but I still believe God is our great defender). The things that are out of my control will be dropped and I will not let myself feel guilty for not being able to do better.
I have suffered from depression and post-traumatic-stress for so many years. Today I am deciding to be happy.