ghosts

I remember in one of Wayne Dyer’s talks, he said, “when life squeezes you, what comes out?”. Then he talked about squeezing oranges and getting orange juice.  I understand this to mean that you can fool people for a limited amount of time, and then some thing will happen that represents you getting “squeezed” and your true colors being revealed ~ or, the ghosts in your closet coming out.

My way of responding to this is to just open the closet door to begin with and let the ghosts come out and have their time.  I will never send them back into hiding, and once they’re done saying what they need to say, they’re gone, never to return.  Then I can exhale, and think to myself, “Wow, that was difficult!”.

The meaner the ghosts are, the more work is put into keeping them hidden, usually.  Most of us have some pretty damn mean ones, too!  What they do is keep us believing in the things they tell us about ourselves and everyone else.  I blame it on them as to the fundamental reason why the world is in the condition it’s in.  What would we do if we didn’t have these ghosts?  How would we live out our potential?  What decisions would we make when we’re in the hot spot?

Acts of cruelty happen because of the ghosts in people’s closets.  Inability to forgive and see the other person as a basic & natural human being causes us to 1. defend ourselves against crimes we think they will most definitely commit, and 2. commit crimes against them out of our ideas of retribution.  All the while that other person could be perfectly innocent, and just trying to live a pain-free life.  The cycle continues….

My ghosts came out of my closet.  I would have let them out a long time ago but I had no idea they were there!  I didn’t hide from them by repeating patterns of my past.  God knows all the stupid things I’ve done to try to shove the scary phantoms of my past back into the closet!  I never worked. Nowadays, if some monster stands in my face to scare me, I’ll just let him stand there and keep doing my life.  I don’t react. (OK, I might vent a little!)

Last night I went to see a movie with one of my best friends, Vidhya.  There were several parties happening but we both wanted quiet time, so we ended up just going to her house and I spent the night.  I love spending the night there!  It’s so calming and relaxing.  This morning I woke up, did stretches in the sunlight that shone through the window, while Vidhya prepared chai tea for us to drink.  Her roommate Tanvi later came downstairs to cook breakfast.  Both these girls are so nurturing, I seriously felt like I was in a spa!

These are girls I lean on when I’m in a dark whirlwind dealing with my ghosts.  They always help me see more clearly.  Thank god for good friends!

As I walked home, I took in the sun–and the flowers which were blooming everywhere.  I feel I have a new awakened self: an awareness that good things are going to happen.  The things that can’t happen while my ghosts are still in all their closets.  But as I face these fears one by one, they go away and good things emerge, like pretty flowers popping up.

Image
Photo I took 🙂

4 thoughts on “ghosts

  1. I liked the honesty in this, & in truth “no surrender” is the only way to grow & leave behind the fear & the failures.

    For what little it is worth, you reminded me of this:

    “In the depth of winter I finally learned that there was in me an invincible summer.”

    – Albert Camus

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    1. Just yesterday I was thinking about surviving winter by carrying summer within you, and you posted that quote! This is magical.
      In the town where I live our winters can be soo long and most everyone gets so negative about it. So it’s not only a great quote in terms of metaphor, it actually applies to the case of us in Ithaca, NY.

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  2. ” What would we do if we didn’t have these ghosts? How would we live out our potential? What decisions would we make when we’re in the hot spot?”
    With this three sentences you have absolutely nailed the major challenge of life, I feel. Completely echo the sentiments of the above comment and that Camus quote is one of my favorites. Closest to the truth. You have written a gorgeous, honest piece ~ one that truly speaks to me.

    Like

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