this is it

There was a time I thought I was going to be a famous rock star.  When I finally stepped into the world (at age 20) I fell in love with music and decided that that’s what I was going to do for the rest of my life.  Fate had different plans though.  PTSD hit me really hard somewhere along the line and flashbacks came relentlessly for a couple of years straight.  With them came depression, fevers and a total loss of my health. I couldn’t work, I couldn’t sing, I could barely hang on. I don’t know if my dream of being a singer died or if I died or what happened. I just couldn’t do it anymore.

Painting was working out for me, though.  Painting is what I love to do now, and I am so glad I’m not, and never have been, a famous singer! Although, every now and then I do love to sit with the radio and sing as much as I want.  I love to remember that there was a time that I could sing well.  But this is my *it*, life one day at a time, giving it all I’ve got, still holding out for the ultimate dream. That dream drives me. It tells me I must do something great. “Don’t stop until you do”.

 

8 thoughts on “this is it

  1. Always wondered about that grip and that dead look. The pattern is a mystery to me. Was wondering about it. Glad you see it cuz I haven’t known even what questions to ask. Just that it is never spring….

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    1. Which is why the creative world is so slow to catch on to the needs of the new generation. They’re still trying to please dead people, who are very alive in their minds. All tricks of the Evil Queen. Time to set new rules and let the dust of the old ones finally blow away!

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