I want to do it all. I want to learn it all. I want to make it all, and I want to be the damn best at it. In my journey to make the impossible possible, am I actually supposed to stay in balance? What New Age crazy idea did I subscribe to in the first place to make me think that “balance” (whatever that means) is actually important?
Is it something that you accomplish every day or is the process of going to opposite extremes over a period of weeks or months equally as good?
I find myself plowing through rough terrain like a mad woman quite often. Last year I worked hard, socialized a whole lot–seriously had somewhere to be and drink alcohol every day of the week! Then I would take a day off for absolute solitude, then jump right back in the action without missing a beat. I met a lot of people and drank a lot of wine–and yes, Scotch too–and had so much fun doing it all!
When I’m not at work or at some bar, I’m working on my art projects or the photos of my art projects. I like to be alone with my coffee, in meditation or out walking. I just want solitude and more solitude, but there’s no way I can get enough right now.
Come Monday (Oh, wait, that’s tomorrow!) I will be back in the jungle–The school semester has begun and the cafe that I work at turns into total madness with the volume of coffee-dependent students. Emotional and mental strength is not enough to stay on top of the demands of customers and the needs of staff while keeping one’s own inner balance/peace/cheerfulness in tact. It takes super-human powers, and for that, one must be a wizard of sorts. Or a Jedi.
Working intensely when I’m at home, and more intensely when I’m at work…at what point am I supposed to rest? This is the big question swinging back and forth above my head like a giant pendulum. One day it might just hit me, then I’ll be forced to rest.